July 3rd, 2020

The C-Note Show! transcript, July 3rd, 2020.

Jeff 0:06

Welcome to the C note show everyone brought to you by great men move mountains. It's Friday 1103, two minutes behind our regular this 1103 on Friday, July 3 2020. I like to start on time, but you know, it's Friday, who's going to be a couple minutes late. That's cool. We were talking to men all around the country already and all around the world. We of course have Patrick here today. Love you guys so much, Patrick from New Zealand. And our hardcore regulars here the Friday before Fourth of July. It's a third. It's a bank holiday today. So you know bankers are off, but the rest of the world keeps going. The rest of the world keeps moving. And you're here because you want to connect with other men in this tribe, other men that are here to do your daily work your daily work as a man to ground yourself in your own behavioral confidence, emotional grounding, emotional confidence, and your spiritual confidence as a man of how do I move forward in the world and how do I understand What my spouse is going through or my ex or my soon to be ex, when she says I love you, but I'm not in love with you, or I want space, or you've heard the D word or you're afraid of the D word coming. That's why you're here. Or like some of our one on one clients, Cynthia, they've already heard the D word. And maybe they're past that. And they want to learn how to not make the same mistakes in the next relationship, and also show up as their own hero, your own hero in your life and the man of her dreams, right? A little hyperbole to start us off the man of her dreams and the hero of your own life. And the only woman a lot in this show is Miss Cynthia Cruz, my partner in crime professional coach, it gives us the grounded, non bias amazing professional, feminine perspective. Hi, Cynthia.

Cynthia 1:44

Good morning and Happy, Happy Friday to you. Thank you for all of you who are here on the edge of this holiday weekend if you are here in the states and I just have to tell you that you're The journey you are all on is inspiring and humbling and makes me every day want to be a better person and a better woman and show up more. And I am deeply gratified to be here. So thank you for having

Jeff 2:19

us. Yeah, I agree with Cynthia. I'm so grateful every day for this tribe for my own self. This is where this is where I get to bring my stuff as well. Right and I have a local men's group. I have men that I consider mentors and I have men shoulder to shoulder with me and I have men that I help out of the mud on a daily every single day and weekly basis as well. And it's so fulfilling and I know you guys that are here. Realize that as well. You want to be shoulders shoulder to shoulder with that man next to you that Spartan next to you to hold up a shield that helps each other or to reach down into the mud and pull each other up out of the mud when we need to because we're all in the mud at some times. And the mug this week. Our theme of this week is how anger is killing your sex life. Why anger is killing your sex life. And you don't want that to happen. You don't want to be me back in 2015 when anger was definitely ruling my life, on a day to day basis, you want to be a new man.

You are the same man. And now you're starting to rise. Hopefully you're not exactly the same as you were yesterday. If you saw this show yesterday, or you're not exactly the same as you were 11 weeks ago, when we started the show, this is the end of our 11th week of shooting, phenomenal response on the forums and on YouTube. And you guys make it possible you guys bring in your stories here, make it possible, and you're phenomenal leaders for each other. The men that are here right now, Tim, good to see you. Welcome in Reuben and Randy and john and Patrick and Jason and Jason and Hans Hans you changed your name so I can not have to say Andrew anymore you say Hans ons and Dave's here again. Good to see you, Dave. And Andy's here as well of course from Spain, I believe that Sandy from Spain, I'm not sure unless that's Hons his phone, which it may be. I think Andy Malloy, who is a leader on this forum, along with Jason Bradbury, and he's doing a call right now, he's not able to be here.Cynthia, I've got

so in this show, first of all, want to bounce over to our opening screen here. I love showing this. Here we do our daily work, there's a phenomenal picture of a lion, and why anger is killing your sex life. And we've got a couple of comments from the forum, a couple of amazing posts from the forum, which we always start with. And then we jump into some humor, some light hearted humor to start us off because we dive deep into the shit. And if you haven't been here, if this is your first time watching the show, we start with some humor. And we dive deep into the stuff right we share our possible shame we share our pains, and we then bounce off the bottom of the pool with a perspective and a plan and tools of exactly how to make move forward with the pain in your life right now so you can be that confident Mojo filled man. So cool. Oh yeah Han says he had a creative private account. Yeah. So it's gonna be Hans and Andrew at the same time we got it we got it I love your I love your picture on Facebook cons I don't want to hear anything but the the symbolism there of your I think you probably painted that. The symbolism of your icon there of your persona eyes is phenomenal. If you guys haven't seen that, check that out on our private Facebook forum. So I've got some humor today that is definitely going to need to be cut by my production manager Katie. So Katie, I'll say this again. But yeah, we're just gonna have to cut all the humor this morning. Because man and if you if this is your first time live to the show, don't judge us us based off of the humors I'm going to show it today because it's pretty raunchy. I try to show different movie clips and things from skit comedy and this one some escape comedy from the channel. I call College Humor, and it's raunchy, so we're gonna have to cut that. But it's fun. It's about sex. Right? And so why anger is killing your sex life plays right in. But before I get to that, Cynthia is like, Oh my god, what did Jeff choose today? Cuz Cynthia doesn't see what I choose. She just she sees it for the first time with all y'all. So R

Cynthia 6:18

chel's laughing downstairs earlier so...

Jeff 6:20

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, it's so good. So, Cindy, can you see the screen with the forum post? Awesome, fantastic. So let me share this real quick, guys. Then we'll get in more into our show. Here's our started today. I appreciate the knowledge I've obtained to reach a deeper level of masculine energy moving forward. And also appreciate having brothers like Jason Bradbury to deliver such rich knowledge in a manner that I'm able to grass. Jason yesterday told me that he spent 15 hours over the past two days talking about sex with men. Jason's a specialty in sex and tantric sex and he's taught classes on that and I appreciate him being a leader in our leader in our, in our forum and in our tribe and here on the show and he's here today. If in case we have any particularly tantric focused sex questions now, then he can he can jump in. He's he's got his day off from his day job today, so I'm happy he's here. This man in the forum says, I understand that my knowledge and understanding of the sacred masculine is pretty limited, but I can start looking to achieve those levels. Looking at myself, honestly, I understand that I had been emoting feminine energy my whole life that comes from being raised in a more dominant matriarchal household. And by me, believing that emotions should run my life. My goal is not to eliminate that part of myself the feminine part of myself, but to keep the positive and establish a core foundation of a deeper, stronger masculinity. So of course, guys, here in the show, we integrate all sides of ourselves what we label as masculine and feminine. We've spoken about in the show and Cynthia loves to give us and we appreciate her feminine perspective in that sense. And Jason Bradbury has taught about how we can integrate those powers together as well. That's so that's one thing that we've shown on this show this week. So if you haven't watched the shows this week, go back and watch the shows because we talk deeply about that all week long. And this man is honoring the fact that he won. I really wanted to bring this in as well, because he says that he was raised in a more dominant matriarchal household. And I don't know if, like me, you guys had a mother that was like kick ass in business, she had her own job she was in the corporate world, or if you didn't have that type of situation, what what mom's role was in your life, or what teachers what feminine teachers roles were in your life, or the movies that you saw or the sitcoms that you saw the commercials that you saw, or the social media influence that you've been around, right? And so we're not here at all to bash women. We love women. We love relationship, and we believe we want to learn how to be phenomenal in modern relationships. And we're honest about the influences that are around us now. And we're around us in every man, including myself. As we grew up in society nowadays, it's very different than previous generations. Right? So I love that this man is calling it out that he was raised in a more dominant matriarchal household. So the let me actually bounce that question off of you. What was your household? Like? If I were to say dominant matriarchal? What would you say? What were the influences with your folks and what did you see from your brother, you know, your, your brother and your father's point of view with your mother and culture basically, today, give us some feedback from me persnally.

Cynthia 6:31

Sorry, my phone just on my computer. Thank you for asking that question. So my mom actually chose to stay home for a lot of time that my brother and I were growing up but you Also had her master's degree in special education. So, there was like this tremendous push pull energy of, you know, her valuing, you know that more that mothering role of cooking and like welcoming us home from school and yet at the same time, I was always receiving the message to be like a very, you got to be a strong woman, you got to be powerful in the world, you got to get out you got to earn your money, you got to make your way you got to not rely on anyone else. So I think she was kind of struggling with those two polarities in herself. And I saw my brother struggle a little bit with that too, like wanting very much to be that masculine in the world and push against the world and make things happen. And feeling a little constrained like that was he was too much too angry. You know, if you break the rules, you're your life is over. And I think that was really, really tough for him to feel that power in himself. And not feel like there was an outlet or true guidance with that as much as my mom and dad tried to do that.

Jeff 11:45

Yeah, thank you. I think that's pretty consistent. Even there was already a post in the chat by Hans about his upbringing and gentlemen, one thing so I have clips today, again from Mark Manson. What john Winelands, we've got some Wayne Dyer. I've got Bernie brown lined up that I say Jordan Peterson as well lined up today, if we have time to get to those. And I'd love for you to post in chat of your experience. And one thing Bernie brown talks about is how we move through shame. One of the ways we move through shame is to call it out. Right, shine a light on it, and then share it with other people and here we call it taking it to the men As in Dr. Robert Glover, Robert Glover Yeah, Robert Glover would say in his book no more Mr. Nice Guy, take it to the men, or Wayne Levine and hold on to your nuts, take it to the men. And so put it into the chat if you've experienced something and you want to share that. That's what we're here for guys. We're here live as well to chat and to you can privately chat one another if you want. That's something that we're here for. And so let's, I want to share this comedy again, Katie, we're probably just gonna have to totally cut this out. So go ahead and do that. So guys, get ready for some college. It's from the general College Humor. And this one's on Batman, but it's a Batman can't stop thinking about sex. Here we go. Give me a thumbs up please, Cnthia.

Video Clip 12:56

How have you come back. You and me are the only one who could learn the strength to escape I did not escape. the child. of rosell called me to climb. But he is not the child of Rosell. I am. What? MAria. Talia al Ghul here to finish my fathers work. We totally had sex. Yes,I know It was like hardcore, three times. It was all a cruel ploy to gain your confidence. That was a cruel ploy? . Sign me up for another it was great. When a mission is at hand the mmm is off limits. Oh I agree and it was off limits. was that all you could fuck buffet. Okay, Bruce thats enough. Acually, let's get back on track. You must be wondering how we came to this moment Mr. Wayne let me see if i If I recollect, some stuff happened you sucked my dick . My father, like a lot. My father never accepted Bane. How was that by the way , are you done? I hadn't showered that day. I fight crime in a rubber suit. Really seals in the flavour. do o jesus my father only saw a monster who could not be tamed you change my monster. ok Just shut up. ok, with your mouth You and two other places in order that would surprse you enough All right, that's it. There's my love you're speaking to i, I'm Jay Roddick cuz. Thats ironic because we didn't use any protection, and I offered. You mother fucker. No No bane It's fine. These words will be his last. her last words were spit in my mouth. Okay, do you understand what's happening right now? A bomb is about to blow up Gotham and I've stabbed you. I stabbed you first. Okay, with my dick ok.Got it just to clarify, God who breeds do a crab. It's not the first time one of us to shove 9 hard inches up into somebody's ribs wasn't nine inches. So what I did to her she loved it. Enough soon you will feel the fire of 12 million souls you failed to what you're saying is by catching that red spot and just the right way. There's an exlosion. Exactly. Hey you get it? you know im good at it. I do the alphabet. A it's for Alfred. B's is for bad. It's a clearance I get it. I get it. You don't have to show me. I found it. I'm the world's greatest detctive. Yes. How does it feel to have somethig hard penetrate you body? LovingI mean I can think of like 10 After that, I'm sorry. Oh, sex jokes aside, I am losing quite a bit ofblood. Your an idiot. All right, Fuck this. I'm just gonna blow up Gothm now. Goodbye, my love. Are you crying right now? Jesus, His face is all wet. Like mine was at the beginning and he's back like yours was at the end. Press the button. You gave Gordon a way to block my signal. No matter. You bought yourself 11 minutes. What you should buy yourself. He's another pair of panties. I totally hate these from you. When you're in te john mamaries which one of these tubes Do yousmel? Now you have my permission to cry.

Jeff 16:50

Oh, now you have my permission to cry. Oh my god. I felt a little embarrassed during that. Oh my god. Oh my god,

Reuben 17:03

that was aesome.

Jeff 17:04

That was. Thank you, Reuben. That was the most raunchy fucking clip that I have shown. Oh, oh my god. Oh, aleast I saw some guys smiling through that. I don't know. I think Cynthia turned off about halfway through because it was to much. Ah, so Cynthia wants you which one of those tubes Do you think Bane smells through what do you think?

Cynthia 17:25

You know, for situations like that, I think you gotta just have both tubes. raring to go. I think that's the important thing.

Jeff 17:33

Yeah, it's like when you carry both balls. You have to carry both balls at the

Cynthia 17:35


Jeff 17:35

When we were when we were prepping for this show. Cynthia was talking about two different energies. And she said, you know, yeah, you have to carry both balls. And I was really like, trying not tolaugh. Okay. Oh my gosh, okay, where to go from there. Oh, my God. I'm atually embarrassed now. How raunchy that was okay, Katie just cut all that out. was like we'll cut all that. I'll move forward. So let me share some of this other post and wash away the shame of my own self for sharing that. There we go. Oh my god. So the post says, Hello fellow great man, I decided to post on the eve of moving on to the next chapter of my life. Tomorrow, my kids and I'm moving to a new house. My wife and I separated late May and I've been moving up. And we've been moving apart since the I love you, but I'm not in love with you early this year, and then the pain for pulling away. I was always fearful of divorce of losing her and my blended family, splintering and most of all letting my kids down. Well, I'm not afraid anymore. I'm optimistic. I'm on a journey to be true to me and my compass and rediscover to rediscover me and the joy and happiness that only comes from you that only comes from yourself as a man. So one thing I want to do is I want to open it up and I know Jason's on here today and other gentlemen that want a chance to come on today's Friday, I'd love for you to have a chance to share either a win this week, right? That's what we're here in this tribe is to share with each other as well. If you don't want to come in live, that's totally fine. If you want to turn off your video, that's fine if you want to post in chat. That's fantastic. Oh, Jason, and Jason says no shame on your humor. I was laughing my ass off. Go ahead. Well, this Oh, oh my god. I think it was more funny with the first time I saw it the second time. It was just like, oh my god, am I actually showing this on the c-notes show right now. What is happening? Oh, so that's me living my edge. Guys. That's me living my edge. I don't know how red I am right now. But ah. So yeah. So yes, I'd love for you, gentlemen to come on and share either a win for you this week, or something that you're really dealing with right now. Right. And I definitely we definitely have a show to go into. So if no one wants to come in, that's fine. And let's open up with Cynthia. So Cynthia, what's a win for you this week, or what's something that you want to honor that you've seen in the energy from the men this week, it's Friday let's bring some positivity to the start of the show here please

Cynthia 19:08

Well, I am in blown away by reading the the Facebook forum and watching, you know, men post their questions or wonderings or stories and then there's like, before I can even, you know, like, process and reflect there's already five guys with comments like holding up this gentleman and then before I know it, there's 10 comments, and I am in this place of feeling. So held in the space of this tribe in this community of so many men of so many people. Bringing a vision to life moving a vision forward into something that is truly great not only for, you know, you as an individual For me as an individual, but our families and our community and our world at large, and that lights me up and inspires me every day of how can I be a part of that? And how can I not only be, you know, a woman in that energy and just honoring what you all are doing, but also, how do I move forward? And how do I add significance and impact to such an incredible group of men.

Jeff 21:33

Oh my gosh, Cynthia, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. So Jason, Yeah, come on in here. Raise your hand. I'd apprecite it. Yeah, go for it Bud

Jason Barr 21:42

Hey, guys, Happy Friday. Happy 4th. So the win this week is, ah, sorry, I'm chasing a three year old again here today literally like walking after right now across the yard but, so the win this week is out. I might have to mute and go and get her when this week is, is really, in your stock growt tool, I feel really good about calling, calling the stock portion mastered. You know, we've spent a lot of time together, we've spent passionate and that time together and then she doesn't talk to me for a day or two, because she's in a place where she's trying to figure out her space. And now that I've been educated, that that's what's going with her mind. I just let her go, you know, let it happen. And then go there. We'll we'll talk again when she's ready. So you know, I want to reach out I want to say what are you doing and what's going on and how you feel and then and, and you know, want to come over and instead of rephrase things to waiting until she texts me and then say, I'm like if you join us for dinner tonight. You know, smoking 10 inches, okay? She's been accepting that sometimes she stays for 30/45 minutes. Sometimes she stays for two hours. And there's been a couple times where she was supposed to come the night. And she starts to get overwhelmed and and she leaves. And I want to go, No, wait, stay, I want you to stay, come on help. And I just go, Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow. And so for I guess, the guys that are starting the process, the hardest thing for me was to apply that stop behavior. I got a lot of growing and a lot of asking to figure out but I really feel good about just stop and stop reaching, and grasping and bothering and let her come to you. And they have changed the dynamic significantly over the last few weeks.

Jeff 24:24

So good. Thank you, Jason. So good. That's phenomenal. Absolutely awesome. I'll show that page here. For those of you who haven't seen now Jason's referring to is the three phases what I call three phases of coaching, or stop and then grow and then ask, you can't ask Ask for anything until you've moved past stop and you're deep into grow. And that's what Jason's talking about here is, you know, some some and Jason real fast if you don't mind, someone would say, Well, yeah, you're not upholding your boundaries with her, you're not standing up for yourself with her. And obviously they ask, like you said, we're not in the Ask phase yet. So how do you look at that as yourself? How do you how do you reconcile that within your own self and your value and your integrity as a man, knowing that there's phases of this work? What would you say to that?

Jason Barr 24:31

Well, your your three month thing. So a week or two ago, we talked about things. And then you say, three weeks, three months, your kind of three month timeline in your eat and how things kind of go through phases really landed with me because it was three months to the day to D day, where she invited me over to hang out and be intimate with her and and so that landed really well in my head to go, you know, this is gonna take time. And so I need to figure out my nuts and my boundaries and I need to figure out you know, my mission and I need to continue to work on that long term lifelong growth, but it's not all for you don't boil the ocean in a day. And so you know, I've set the timer in my head for September 1 another 90 days and I'm enjoying the phase that I'm in I'm really just focused on the first step just stop being needy stop being a little boy and stop being monkey grain and, and, and enjoy it creates what the space create and then in the next 90 days really focus on the grow aspect and then in that next 90 days, hopefully be able to really ask for what I want, you know, be in a different phase with different level.

Jeff 25:54

Yeah, absolutely. Jason, love it so much, man. Thanks for coming in. Fantastic. Yeah, awesome I'm gonna press pause on you. Thank you Jason. Appreciate it. So Dave Yeah, Dave, come on in, please and share with us. Would you like to tell us would you like to share with us? Yeah, go for it.

Dave 26:09

Well, um, a couple of wins this week. Actually, I'm like to start with being on your show on Monday day. And with what I posted on your forum, laying my pretty much my whole life out for the group to see. I've changed all of those negative things in my life into positives, and I no longer dwell on them. I look at them all as small victories in my life, and I become stronger from them all. The other win this week, for the past three months since my wife left. You know, I've been doing my work here. So I'm working on my spiritual emotional growth behavioral but I've also been working On my physical growth, and so I've been watching my diet, exercising things like that. And I did my weigh in on Wednesday. And as of Wednesday, I've lost 30 pounds in three monts.

Jeff 27:17

Wow, congrats, man.

Dave 27:19

I'm kind of rocking it. So yeah, those are my wins for the week. Yeah, I'm feeling good.

Jeff 27:24

So cool. Thank you, Dave. I appreciate it, man. Phenomenal. So Cindy, I'd love for you to jump in and give some feedback. What? What happens in your body as a woman when you hear these men owning themselves and having patience and perseverance and timeline, right? We're not trying to, like Jason said, boil the ocean in a day. Right? So and I know that there's men on here and certainly I was this way back in 2015 2016. thinking I could make these changes overnight. And had I hired my own coach. I went to a retreat myself. I read the books, and I was reading books constantly for about nine months, which is a part of my journey, as many books as I can get. My hands on one after the other and writing, writing my intentions writing when I want. So Cynthia when you hear these men really leaning in to life and this work, how does that hit you inside our body? Please?

Cynthia 29:11

Well, I love the metaphor of you. We're not trying to boil the ocean in a day that really hit home for me. In trying to boil the ocean in the day is the exact opposite of the energy that Jason and Dave just modeled. And, gosh, Dave, as you were talking, you're talking about those like little victories. All I could see in front of me was this like mountain hike and like these little flag posts along the way and it gave me that feeling of when you are on like a really long hike like I grew up in the northeast and hikes there tend to be like, like, you go like this, up boulders and instead of being in that, like, like This is hot, and how am I going to get through this and I just felt so in peace in your presence and like this is okay, and this is safe and it's just one little moment at a time. And I also thought that with Jason I felt like I could really just rest into the space he was creating. And I honestly didn't like sit down to be on the show this morning in the like resting in space. It was like, Oh, you know, I should be doing this, this and this. And to be given the gift of just experiencing that, like, here's the space to rest in. Here are the little flags. It's like I'm feel myself again. It feels more like pink energy versus like the boiling ocean energy

Jeff 29:56

Oh my gosh, that reminds me I've got two things right now one from Jordan Peterson and one from JOHN weinland that talks exactly about this. Okay, so I want to jump into Jordan Peterson. I'll share the preview screen screen right here and honor. This link I've shared this week as well. This is a different clip from the same video. So I'm gonna actually put this in the chat for you guys right now. And let's share I'm going to share two minutes from Jordan Peterson right here. The first bit is about burning off the dead wood in your life. The second bit is about telling the truth and how it's hard to tell the truth. It takes a warrior to tell the truth. So when I share this screen Cynthia if you give me a thumbs up, I'd appreciate it.

Video Clip 30:35

You could be that's me. The truth is something that burns it burns off dead wood. And people don't like having their dead wood burn off often because they're like 95% Deadwood, and I'm not being leave me I'm not being snide about that. It's no joke. When you start to realize how much of what you've constructed of yourself is based on deception and lies. That is a horrifying realization. And it can easily be 95% of you. You things you say things you act out, or do every day. They talk to themselves, they see themselves as they like to be allegiance to the truth. But the truth is a strange thing. It's a very strange thing. Oten the hero in a in a story has to assimilate their dark side before they're capable of telling the truth. Right in the Hobbit, for example, he has to become a thief. Right? Because he has to get tough. That's the thing. That's the thing. Also, the thing about telling the truth is that it's not for it's not for the naive, not at all. And partly because it burns off Deadwood, partly because it hurts people's feeligs. It's a sword. So you haveto be a warrior. Want to know what your

Jeff 31:51

Oh my gosh, so cool. One thing he said in there, which we talked about yesterday, is you have to assimilate your dark side before you can move forward into truth and move forward into being That integrated man in the world and integrated man in your relationship. Yesterday we talked about the antihero. And the antihero is one that's fallible, that sometimes acts in a shitty way. Sometimes he has shit behaviors and shit patterns. But at the core, he's a good man that's improving himself moving forward in the world. And he lives by his integrity, when it counts, right when he needs to swoop in and save his own self, his family, those people around him, he does so now does that mean that we're always perfect in a relationship? Hell no. None of us are perfect in relationship. However, if we have a vision if we're moving toward that adventure in within our own battle in life in the world that can pull us forward. I love how Cynthia quotes that pain pushes until vision pulls. And including myself I believe every single man here is come to this work because pain pushed us to this work. And now what our goal is and like the men that have already shared Jason and Dave, of course and everybody else in the chat and Cynthia, I'd love for you to honor our chat here in a second. We're here and keep moving forward and showing up to do this daily work as men because vision is now pulling us forward vision of who we want to fucking be in the World Vision of who we know we can be and who we can be in relationship with tribe of other men that are doing this work as well. One thing I realized is that, so like old friends or men that I just meet on a daily basis or let's say in Rotary Club, you know, other men that you just kind of stumbled across are really just you know, they're at like level zero at level point one in their truth and in their vision and in their adventure in the world. And fucking guys here, we're at level 123 our bottom drawer emotions that's what I love about this as we can I can share a ridiculous hilarity you know, clip of hilarious raunchiness at the beginning of the show and not be not be run out of the room. At least not yet. We'll see. We'll see whatever happens after the show like nobody's gonna show up on Monday. So Cynthia I'd love your feedback and honor our men that are on right now and honor our chat, please.

Cynthia 34:09

Well, you I, first of all, I appreciate you sharing things that are vulnerable and raunchy. And john even said, Hey, thanks, Jeff, for being so vulnerable with your raunchy sides. So that was greatly appreciated. So there was a couple of comments just about what it was like to you know, have dad energy. Growing up. Jason said he had very much like a servant dad and that you were supposed to sacrifice yourself for your family. And that was a really hard model to to have and then feel any strength in. And john was saying, hey, awesome, Jason. I'm so inspired. Harry said, Hey, well done. Dave. You've inspired me. And Jason also said, which I I deeply resonate with as a woman is truth, like your truth. It's never wrong and it truly is really sexy. And Jason said, believe it or not, and I will say Believe it or not, it truly is grounding to a woman um, attractive, and a gift.

Jeff 35:27

Yeah, thank you. Cynthia, we you and I and I've shared some stories in the show, certainly about how I brought my truth forward in our relationship when we first started getting together. Jason, I'd love for you to jump in. Do you have a story to have a short story for us or want to give us some feedback on and extrapolate? extrapolate? Truth is never wrong and really sexy Believe it or not? Jason Come on in. Yeah, please.

Jason Bradbury 35:51

Well, I shared it on the forum. But you know, when I first got divorced, I I dug into pickup artistry I dig dug into all this alpha male stuff. And shortly after working, working in this work I was just tired of trying to put on a facade. And I was on a date with with a woman. And you, look, first day, it's always kind of uncomfortable. And you're sitting there trying to formulate how to impress her, how to impress her how to impress her. And, she asked me a question. I honestly don't remember what the question was about. But I looked at her I just breathed really, really deep. And I think it was just this moment of, I'm fucking tired of hiding. And I just said to her, I said, You know, I really want to impress you. And in this moment, I I really wanted to make up a story to make you think I'm realy really awesome then I stopped and I think we sat across from each other for like five minutes. I think she fiddled with her keys in her purse a couple times like I'm gonna get the fuck out of here.

Jeff 37:19

Yeah, she probably felt uncomforable.

Jason Bradbury 37:22

And then in and then just the honesty in our conversation after that was amazing. And, you know, we we we just spent the night together. And it was one of those most amazing nights

Jeff 37:43

hold on, pause, you, like, let out you where's the truth come in. So you let her fiddle with her keys for a bit and you fucking grounded yourself. Right? So then how did you go from there? So you're going home together? Like what were you true, what are you honest about? What did you bring into the space?

Jason Bradbury 38:01

That I was really scared about my future and where I was going. I think that was. That was the that was the gist of it. That I didn't know who the hell I was at that point. I was trying to figure it out. I think I think I think every time I was on a date I wanted to I wanted to be that man of purpose. And you know, I'm in a direction Look at me. I'm, I'm, look at me. You're like, Iook how powerful I am.

Jeff 38:36

Sure, okay. I'm gonna fucking I got a stab in now Jason, I got a stab in, Okay, so what you just said was, I shared with her that I was afraid. And then we and then we went home and fucked like that kind of, I'm just gonna call I'm gonna call a little bit of bullshit because there's gotta be there's gotta be some masculine like frame all right for that okay, cuz Yeah, go for it, man. Give us the rest of this.

Jason Bradbury 39:02

It's kind of interesting that I hopped over that it's that's that's interesting. So there was a time in the conversation that night when I spoke another truth, which was, man, I, I want to I want to I want you to come home with me tonight.

Jeff 39:22

Yeah, fuck There you go. Yeah.

Jason Bradbury 39:26

It was it wasn't any more complicated than that. It really wasn't. It was a truth that in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be inside her body or soul or spirit and everything. It was it was a very honest to realize that and I I think her jaw dropped a little bit. I don't know if anyone man had ever said that.

Jeff 39:52


Jason Bradbury 39:52

that kind of that kind of became the model of my dating life. After that. I just I spoke it. So thanks for bringing that out. Jeff. I know you know that of me I just......

Cynthia 40:00

yeah, so I think I think it's unconscious competence. It's You don't even know that you're doing it. I think a lot of times Jason cuz you have practice that leads into a john weinland clip I'll say in a moment, but Jason Yeah, the, like fucking owning yourself, I think what you did, and unknowingly or you didn't present all the way to us. And so I pushed you right was, you bet you dove into vulnerability. And then you came back into your presence of I want to own you, I want to be in your energy. I want to own this space. I want to be sexual with you. I'm attracted to you. because like you said, Every of the first date was probably fucking tiptoeing and dancing and wanting to impress her. Right? And you did the opposite. You're like, you know what, I really want to impress you. But actually, I'm kind of terrified of that. And I'm not sure exactly where I'm going in life. But what I know right now is I want to be with you right now. And I'm attracted to you right now and you own your fucking passion. And she just wanted to have a great date. Right? So a woman that maybe is looking for a husband on the first date probably isn't going to be into that. But a woman who wants to have a great time and be in the moment with you right now. Like, obviously ate that shit up, and she wanted to be in your space and in that energy, so Cynthia give us some feedback, please. I'm like, Where's this gonna go if I kind of stab into Jason here, so they give us some give us some feedback on what Jason really blew what bloomed and Jason there and what he shared with all of us please

Yeah, I would have, that energy of that, you know, bottom door This is what I really want is and the truth of that is so like, it's like gives me life when I hear that coming from a man and you know, I, I know many of you are dealing with like, you know, partners who are kind of shifting to the side and putting up shields when you send out that spear of like, I miss you. It's like you I want to be with in this moment. But aside all that beneath the shifting and the shields that are put up, I have to tell you it is so amazing to be on the other end of someone looking at you of that masculine, rounded, heart centered masculine looking at you and saying it's you. Like, I want to be with you in this in this moment. Thats That's amazing.

Jeff 41:34

Thank you, Cindy. I love that. Yeah. And Patrick said in the chat, the truth is pitiless, indifferent to all but the purity of its own self evidence. The truth of knowing who you are and why you are here is the greatest two days in anyone's life. All right. So knowing who you are learning who you are is a great day and why you're here are the two greatest days in anyone's life. Patrick says, The day you were born and the day you learned why the day you figured out why That's so much. I'm going to share this that segues beautifully Jason into john weinland. Talking about practice being in our being in our masculine essence he calls it or tethered to consciousness, and what he means by masculine essences present. Okay, what you just described Jason and you're so good at this, and you've taught classes on this, I think you just kind of didn't even know or you just like you just did it. And that's what john Wiley is going to explain to us right now of how to do that. How to be connected to present consciousness and to withstand the feminine storm within her and within your own self. Like how do I fucking handle my own storm of anger and emotional waves within my own self? And with her that's what john was going to show it share with us right now.

Video Clip 43:48

I'm a man, your man. Most men have a masculine essence. And I have to be connected to that essence in order to withstand the rigors of intimacy and feminine, you know, feminine energy and alof those things. If I don't arm the storms which men have just especially our generation have just as strongly as women, men are just can lose their shit just as strogly as women. You know, it's interesting just reminding us, I learned so much from my fabulous guests like you, but I think it was the last time I interviewed john gray. We were talking about testosterone and masculine energy. And he said when a man is angry, that's the more the most feminine he will ever be. And that that's when his testosterone plummets and I was like, What know when you're like kicking ass and throwing shade across the room and putting your hand through the fist through the drywall and like going nuts like Nah, man, you're like, being too much of a man. You're too masculine is like no, no, it's the exact opposite. That's ultra feminine. Well, yeah, because he's lost his his testosterone is dropped and he's lost his grip on his masculine energy, and he's been overrun by his emotions and when you're overrun by emotion, at least on the negative side you know, which I think we consider that rage and outbursts like that negative. That's when you're your most feminine. I was like, Huh, weird. Well, if you think about it this way, does that make sense? Yeah. If If, if my masculine your masculine, the masculine, a woman's masculine is the part of us that is witnessed that never changes, right? We talked about this last time. So masculine practice at its essence is me resting his consciousness, and just feeling eternity. Right. The more I do that, actually, the more testosterone the more dopamine in my body makes, the more centered I get. But there's a chemical reaction that happens. They're finding this in neuroscience men, they're going to prove this really clearly, very soon. So if I'm resting is masculine, if I'm resting in my masculine essence, all it means is that I'm deeply connected to consciousness. And if I can embody that, then you'll actually feel it through me. You'll feel like wow, this is a conscious man. This is a present man as a deep man, right and because I've been practicing it so much now But it's now a trade. Well, if I'm resting if that's my, my go to trade, that's my state. And I have emotions, I freak out, I have fears and all of that. If I'm witness to those things, then I'm in my masculine witnessing my feminine. Right? Whatever, whether it's vulnerability, witnessing it, if I'm, if I'm getting on the train of that meaning feeling it fully and abandoning this idea that I'm witness to ever to the feminine, my feminine emotional body, then I will lose my masculine ground completely, which is what most of us do, we've never trained to be to do the opposite. So in the first part, we were talking about how you practice this. Well, as a masculine practitioner, you fully feel that vulnerability, like, I'm scared, I'm scared my, um, my heart's breaking. I'm afraid you're going to leave me I'm afraid you don't love me like I love you. I mean, you practice on all those things. But you've got this tether and consciousness and then tethering consciousness the feminine willfeel like ground. And that's, it's a it's lie a meditation if

Jeff 45:10

Yeah, so it's a constant meditation. It's a constant coming back to this practice of feeling present feeling ground, not falling into anxiety, not letting it take you over. Not trying to dump that on your woman like she's your therapist, if that was a mistake I made in the past was to have her wear the hats of my therapist, which is a really bad idea. I mean, that you're if I'm if I'm and bla bla bla bla bla chatting away with all my anxieties, according to john weinland, David data, all the research that we're seeing now as far as what happens with my testosterone, I'm moving more into my feminine and that's killing polarity in the relationship, right sexual polarity. And like john weinland says, and some of his other videos, she doesn't want to fuck that. She doesn't want to fuck that. Like, okay, I have to ask myself, why am I in intimate monogamous committed passionate relationship if I'm having her wear a hat that she doesn't like it kills sexual polarity and sexuality and doesn't want to make her fuck you know, she doesn't want to fuck me. Like, wow, I really need. We cannot make our woman everything we cannot try to make her wear every hat in our relationship and I so made that mistake in the past and I had no idea I had no idea I was doing that. So I'm so happy, happy to be unfolding these things for you guys. And to be blunt john Winelands. And I'd love for your feedback, gentlemen, john weinland really, most succinctly that I've seen for many practitioner talk about how to stay tethered to our presence and our masculinity, own the shit that's going on in ourselves and how that creates a pregnant pause a positive tension, a positive space with her and you where you don't really need to do anything. Okay, the work is what you did in your morning routine. The work is what you've been doing. When you've done that meditation when you've been writing when you're doing your morning kingly plan, like we teach on this show, so I'd love your guys's feedback on that. And Cynthia helped me introduce also, this weekend. We talked about this this morning in preparation for the show. How if we are concerned about this weekend, we're going to be in front of family. We're going to be probably with our spouse, maybe it's contentious. You know, we're trying to be a good co parent, as you know, Reuben talked about yesterday as well and Reubens on the way to the beach today. And he's going to be a co parent for, you know, part of today and harder tomorrow. Absolutely. And so other gentlemen are in that spot, too. So help me introduce what you'd like men to touch into moving into this weekend, please.

Cynthia 47:21

Thank you. I think sometimes there is a momentum in holidays, or the way that we mark time as a culture and in different countries and there's sometimes I feel like There's kind of a forgetting that like, we're just gonna be able to show up at a certain situation, and there's going to be fireworks and there's going to be a bonfire and everything will be fine. And then, lo and behold, like at least I've noticed, family stuff is always still right there. There's always the desired put us in the box that people perceive of us or someone not being willing to show up and just enjoy the moment. And so wanting to offer that with intention with vision for the weekend to come. Knowing that those energies are still there and making we can always make a choice ahead of time, how we want to perceive that or act in that or feel that or take a break from that. And to me, that seems like incredible leadership There have been many times I've walked into holidays and family situations where suddenly I feel a wash in the ocean and the emotional storm of that. And it feels a lot better to come in with a plan of some sort.

Jeff 51:16

So, gentlemen, do you have a plan of this weekend, when you're maybe going to be around your spouse if it's contentious right now or a plan to be around your family, and they're kind of like level zero or level one. And you want to stay tethered to your own, as we've talked about on today's show, and, you know, Cynthia just said, and Jason's talked about our art, our masculine essence, yeah, Ruben,please go for it. Can you unmute yourself, but there we go. Yeah.

Reuben 51:47

So my plan is like is focusing on that sacred masculine. think to myself not being outgoing. But trying to, you know, stayingtowards myself build up that masculine polarity. And, you know, just observe be the watcher. If I'm at a point where people are interacting with me that I can be playful but more than anything is to be the watcher, bring that side of me. I want for myself is that masculine side, I find that now is a great opportunity. It's almost like being the scientist like you saying your audio book, or I can, you know, just do this and see how it goes and then the next situation and do it again, because that's what I want. And I have a goal to the sacred masculine, deeper masculine and I know that being the watcher being the observer, Im not looking for like Jason said, You're not tring to learn Yup. And that's te position that i'm gonna walk in

Jeff 53:04

I love it so much. So good. So good. Right Stephen Covey first seek to understand before you try to be understood, right? We have been so good. And being the masculine watcher and if shit hits the fan or if something pushes into try to be humorous about it, like if you get those confidence tests or congruence tests or shit tests as we talk about, right? Either you ignore it basically right not ignore the person, but ignore that particular comment or you agree and amplify and kind of make a joke out of it. Like those are the two best strategies to handle. When someone's really like testing you or you're kind of getting a shit test, especially from her. Right, especially from her. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, Jason says, right on Ruben, just stop and watch. You can always talk about the shot test the shot. Yeah, the shit test later. You can talk about the test later. Exactly. Thank you, Jason. You don't want to stack right. You can always bring something up later. If it was it. If across the boundary, right? If it's something that's violating safety in the issue, like a kid is running across the street or someone's just like going crazy. Yeah, you deal with it right then. But I love that Jason that you can always wait till later otherwise, if it's not an absolute emergency, totally good.

Reuben 54:16

Um, Jeff, I just wanted to say that ever since I've been starting to do this over the last few days, I see a dramatic shift and forever. Like, the more I retract and create space, the more she wants to ask me questions. So it's kind of like taking out the little boy that says, hey, I'm here. You know, I like stopping around like, I'm here. I am here. I am. who I am. I don't need to announce myself man.

Jeff 54:47

Fucking A Reuben. Love it, dude. Love it. So Cynthia. So let's flip the coin over for two minutes. And I want to I want to call out right when a woman and do you help me with this right because when so when a woman feels That that space, that positive tension of the man stepping back, owning himself being tethered to presence, and she's moves toward that. Is she always gonna be positive from then on? Is it like everything's fixed? And from then on, she's just this pause right? So what happens? What's the ebb and flow? what's the what's the tie that like in a woman's world just so we can call that out here and call out some truth in that arena, please?

Cynthia 55:27

So wonderful question. I think the tide analogy is, is very spot on. You know, we've talked on the show about there's like, no, there's a pie that's like the basic relationship needs that a woman has. There's seven pieces and whether she's sourcing at all in herself, or she's looking to you to fulfill those sections. It's she's always kind of reacting From will that space, she's moving toward you. And then this other space, you know, she's not as developed in so she might step back and that space Oh, that starting to feel really good and so she moves forward. And then she might draw back. And Jeff I saw you shared the screen, I just, it was black, so we couldn't see what you were pulling up. But I think having just witnessing the the push and pull of the tide is an incredible credible practice. And I would say even from the feminine side of point of view, in interacting with the masculine, you know, she also has to practice watching your ebb and flow and it's very different, but it's kind of a, you know, there's a closeness of partnership and relationship and then there's the world You're in you moves out into the world, and then you come home and you connect. And then there's your purpose and you go out, and you come home and connect. So I think, in both parts of relationship, we're holding that space for each other.

Jeff 57:17

So I was reading that hands, I posted it. So Cynthia that holding that space for each other. And Hans talks about that she's following and has these pretty absolute boundaries, his wife, she's following some different psychologists to talk about not to find the minutes or her boundary of labyrinth. Yeah. So Joseph Campbell in a in here with 1000 faces, talks about the story that's perpetuated throughout time of the Minotaur within the labyrinth. And what that is, is like a pushing away a shunning away of all of our disowned pieces of ourselves that go become the Minotaur either literally in the stories, if you see them that way, or emotionally within our own selves. I think that's what Hans is referring to here. And he says it's hard to joke and goof around. With her about those things, because she has these, what appears to be absolute hard boundaries about everything. But he still acts light around her, but not as spontaneous. I know, I should just cut loose and say whatever I want, but it's a minefield. So simply give him some feedback here in the last minute of the show. And, you know, I'll say, first of all hands, you know, it's about dancing up and down the stairs, being appropriate, but still, like dancing into humor, dancing into being yourself, but it's not about trying to blow someone out of the water, right? It's not like, I'm going to say whatever I want to say, EFF her blood, you know, obviously, that is just sprinting through the minefield. Instead of maybe, okay, I know that this half step is kind of safe, quote unquote, or she's not gonna like lose her shit, but it's the edge. So it's where's the edge? Where's our edge? I'm not going to stand still. I'm not going to run away but I'm gonna dance with the edge. That's what I would. That's what I've encouraged but specific, give him some feedback here now Last few seconds ofthe show, please.

Cynthia 59:03

Thank you for that. Um So you started the show Jeff with like, it like the edge of humor and like pushing in and inviting, you know, everyone out in their own like shadowy giggling behind the scenes type away. And I think the purpose behind humor is everything and I think that edge is found when you know, like it's very human that sometimes we process anger or embarrassment through humor. And so just being in purpose of what that humor is supposed to do that it's not it's not a way to alleviate kind of like God is so frustrated and I feel better. It's more of an inviting playfulness and lightness. and exploring the moments of that.

Jeff 1:00:05

Oh, that's so good differentiating like, Why Why am I bringing humor in as it's, you know, dump? Or is it to invite? I love that. So good. Phenomenal. Thank you, Cynthia. So gentlemen, next week, we're going to be on the roads and the entire hitting the road for vacation, the week after Fourth of July here, so we are going to bring the show from the road. We've talked about potentially Utah. We've talked about potentially Montana, we're actually going to dig into that tomorrow and decide, you know, we're packing up the car, we do some car camping, I'm going to kick some ass on the road. Next week, we will be the show will air the same time Our goal is to find Wi Fi or do a hotspot right from the MacBook Pro laptop. We're going to figure this out. It might be a little choppy. It might not be exactly the same, but we're going to have different background next week because we're going to be traveling. So we look forward to that Cynthia. Yeah, share with the guys what you're looking forward to next week.

Cynthia 1:00:59

So Oh my gosh, I I love, the world shows up for us in so many ways, like with incredible metaphor. And so traveling and being in different environments. I love because it brings creativity to how to talk about these real human things between men and women. And that metaphor is a way to move energy in a way that sometimes like intellectual thinking doesn't do it can bring understanding and peace and vision. And that's what thrills me about traveling is gathering those metaphors along along the way to create real movement and momentum and things off the radar screen.

Jeff 1:01:50

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. What's off the radar? We don't know until we knock in that door and peek inside. I love that so much. So I do have three minutes of a Wayne Dyer motivation. It's number Five that I've been showing this week, a fifth piece of that, that video have been showing this week after our credits. And Cynthia, if you'd help me Say goodbye to our men for today and for this week, and we'll see you guys on Monday at 11am Mountain

Cynthia 1:02:12

thank thank you. Thank you for being here on this Friday. Tim It was really nice to meet you thanks for joining in and I so appreciate Jason and Jason hands thank you for adding into the chat and all of you who are here your your energy truly makes a difference. It makes a difference to me it makes a difference two gentlemen who watched this it it creates a new kind of radar screen for all of us. So thank you for your weirdness in your spirit and to the world.

Jeff 1:02:49

Absolutely. Yeah, I agree with Cynthia completely. This is where we do our daily work together in a tribe of men. Guys, thank you so much. This has been the C no show brought to you by great men move mountains and great men move if you'd like to check out our brand new men's group class we're only accepting six men in we already have three spots filled it was in the first 48 hours the three spots out of six filled go to great men move slash relaunch and read all about the information they're actually yesterday put up a little promo video of me talking about it as well that's brand new. If you haven't checked that out you can go back to the site and check that out. Ask us questions about that if you like great men move mountains comm slash relaunch I love that you guys are here. We'll see you on Monday at 11am Mountain. I've got three minutes from Wayne Dyer through our closing credits here.

Video Clip 1:03:41

Comfort comfort makes ndifference which you're gonna be. You're gonna be fine either wacomfort to you.

Jeff 1:03:58

Phenomenal here we go some wayne Dyer right now.

Video Clip 1:04:02

The next principle, I call don't die with your music still in you. And who better to quote then Thoreau, when he talked about some of us, here a different drummer, and we must march to the music that we hear. But all of you, all of you have some music playing. And all of you have a heroic mission. There's no accidents in this universe. We all show up here with a purpose. There's an intelligence that is a part of everything and everyone and all of us are connected to it. And too many of us are afraid to listen to that music and march to t. You out there. I know you have a book you wanted to write. I know there's a composition you want it to compose. I know there's a song you want to sing someplace. Maybe you Want to raise horses out in Montana? Or maybe you want to open up an ice cream shop on Cape Cod? Who knows what it may be? Maybe you just want to travel and see the world. Maybe you want to go into a relationship with someone but you've been afraid to but your heart says it's the right thing to do. All of us feel something. And in Leo Tolstoy his famous novel The death of Ivan illage. He asked this question that would be terrifying to me. He says, as he has his accountant from Moscow lying on his deathbed contemplating the horror of this question. Wha if my whole life has been wrong? I've known my music is it's playing right now. As I stand here in front of you with these cameras and in this place, and as I sit down and write my books, and tell the world what I know are my truths. I feel always completely unperson fulfilled. And no time will I ever come to the end of my life and say what if my whole life is whoever you are whenever that music is however distant It may sound however strange, however weird, others may interpret it to be. Don't get to the end of your life and know that youre going to leave and not haven't played yet. Don't die with your music stealing

Jeff 1:06:43

Fantastic, guys, go play your music in the world. Have a great weekend.


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