Have you ever felt not good enough for her?

confident man marriage advice men's coaching relationship advice relationship coaching May 03, 2021

Being a man can be a lot of work - a roller coaster of compressed emotions that don't get talked about enough. One minute you're brimming with confidence, a couple of words later from your wife and you're feeling down in the dumps, completely insecure and unsure of yourself.

  • Stop looking to her to determine your feelings of worth.

  • The source of your confidence needs to come from you and not external sources. 

  • Yes, outside validation helps to boost ego confidence, but you must source validation from within yourself to truly feel free and powerful.


The tendency to look for approval from others is not attractive - it comes off as needy. 


Women love a man who knows himself, has goals, a plan to attain them, and goes head-on for what he wants. 

Fumbling over decisions, being passive, or being easily swayed into changing your mind is a serious turn-off and needs to change or else you run a risk of bringing out the 'mother instincts' all women have. 

You end up becoming more of a 'child' than a potential partner. 

When the mother instinct in a woman kicks in, she begins to see you as less capable and gives advice. Mind you, the advice may or may not necessarily be what you need or be useful to you - it is more of an effort to fix you and set you on a path. Kind of how mothers worry and fuss over their kids and make them take piano lessons or eat more broccoli because they're trying to do what they think is best, regardless of whether you want to learn piano.

If she is already moving in with the mothering instinct or she has already entered mommy-mode, the only way to get out of it is to take charge of yourself.

  • Take the lead, be a man of your own. This shows that you are capable and able to handle your life and make decisions. 

  • Until a woman sees this stance and confidence, chances are you're not going to get the 'sexy panties energy'. 

Confidence is an incredibly attractive feature to women. When a woman sees a man take charge, to do things he wants to do, even if she may want him to do something else, he will have her respect. And respect is a necessary ingredient for sexual attraction.

Her unconscious testing (ie. sh*t tests) also help prepare you for challenges you’ll face in the world. You need to learn to deal with people who want to push you to do things you do not want to.

  • How will you handle it when people make comments that make you uncomfortable or put you in a bad place? 

  • Will you recoil, complain, and call for mommy? 

  • Or will you face the dragon with calm confidence and maturity?

You must face the dragon head on and with confidence, not letting anyone pressure or bully you into doing what you don't want to do. You alone are the key player in your life. You decide. 

Own yourself and be that calm, confident, and courageous man you're meant to be.