Cynthia's Secrets:

How to hold a frame that allows her to soften into her natural radiance

If you invite your wife to be more feminine for you at this time in your relationship, she will feel inadequate.  She will get defensive. 

The frame is that you know the relationship space you and your wife share needs softness and femininity to be healthy, vibrant, and alive just as much as it needs groundedness and masculinity. 

My suggestion is that you carve out times with your wife where you tell her that you and her get to practice being in a different kind of dynamic together---the romantic side of being a man and a woman in partnership.

This isn't time meant to lead to sex. This is a time where you get to lead the softness in her. Maybe sit behind her and brush her hair. Maybe you go on a walk holding hands.  Maybe it is partially clothed massage that doesn't end in an orgasm. 

You're spot on that a woman's radiance emerges when she softens into who she truly is.  Your wife IS feminine. Hold in high regard the softness you see or know is there beneath the surface. She may not be acting feminine at the moment but look for how she is being it. 

Most Sincerely,

Cynthia Kruse
Master Coach - Men, Marriage & Sex