Is she really interested in me again?Apr 23, 2023
Suddenly, your wife seems interested again.
She suggests hanging out more. She seeks you out to talk, for hours, if given the chance.
She wants to eat food together. She wants to sit next to you on the couch watching T.V. She wants to tell you about her day…
She says, "Thank you," "It's helpful to talk to you," and "Things feel better."
Your wife ACTS MORE emotionally open BUT AVOIDS your calibrated invitations for physical intimacy like the plague.
Slash-and-Burn - a field of weeds
Like a field of crops needing to be turned over and provided with new nutrient-rich soil, you have purposefully set fire to Version 1.0 of your marriage, and allowed it to burn to the ground.
You've done your daily work and are finally feeling OK with moving on and seeking greener pastures.
You’ve focused on your own self and, over time, felt a clear shift in your mindset.
Yes, there is sadness in the ‘letting go’-
Letting go of hope.
Letting go of your wife.
Letting go of the Dream.
But you’ve successfully fasted from the need to get "mommy’s’’ approval, and now the state of your marriage feels less like a hard stone sunk in your gut and more like a newly discovered petroglyph - a painting depicting the story of a life you still may desire but are at peace with leaving behind.
Your wife has felt this shift.
Somehow she noticed, now seeming to be seeking connection in the empty space. Before your personal growth, old relationship patterns had her tied up and overwhelmed.
This is a NEW ‘relationship’
You must consider this phase of interaction with your wife as a completely new ‘relationship’ and treat her desire to spend time with the same calibration you would if you were on the first handful of dates with a new woman.
If this was the third date with your wife, would you watch T.V., carefully perched on the corner of the couch, making sure to not cross into 'intimate proximity'?
Having just met your wife, would you act like her ‘girlfriend,’ chatting into all hours of the night, swept into her emotional highs and lows several times per week, without ever asking her out or making a move?
Would you ‘friendzone’ yourself on the first dinner date, quickly retreating into old patterns of Nice Guy behavior at the end of the evening when you realized that your woman was unattracted and uninterested?
Wife is interested again - what to do:
Maybe you are still carrying around guilt that you killed the passion in your marriage through Nice Guy patterns, non-masculine behaviors, and bad habits.
Maybe you screwed up, but your wife screwed up too. The amount of renewed interest she has in you can't be measured through her non-intimate and unpolarized bids for affection.
If your wife asks to spend time with you, you must have perspective, calibrated direction, and compassion if she doesn’t want more intimacy in that moment…and then end the interaction.
You can't ignite it yourself, but you can make sure that her pilot light doesn't get smothered in routine, complacency, 'nice guy' mistakes.
Watch this video to find out how to handle your wife's renewed interest like a Rock Star:
- How you can stoke your wife's flame of respect and interest in you
- What to do to make sure your gift of masculinity isn't being taken for granted
- Why it's a fallacy that this work gets harder and harder
Want to read more? Click to read this next article: How I stopped being Mr. Nice - success story