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Her anger is good - here's why

confident man marriage advice men's coaching relationship advice Apr 09, 2023
woman wearing red boxing gloves punching a man

“You don’t care,” your wife says for the 3rd time this week. “You get to do whatever you want, but I don’t have any freedom!”
 
This criticism of you has become more and more frequent the past year as her stress and overwhelm has built itself to epic proportions.
 
You’ve tried to fix it.
* You’ve tried to alleviate her anxiety at home by being the one to not only cook but clean up the kitchen every night after dinner.
* You’ve tried to invite her into more logic-based thinking about how she handles her job, the house, and extended family obligations.
 
But after unloading her weekly woes on you, it always ends up being YOUR FAULT, and YOUR ISSUE, followed by this newest gauntlet of accusation for your lack of care for her situation. 
 
You feel the trickle-down effect of her stress pouring itself like thick sap into every corner of the house, sticking to her parenting choices with your children, and adding a thick pitch of protection to the already cold exterior that is her willingness to be in intimate relationship.
 
* - You are tired of her anger.
* - You are drained by TRYING to pick up the pieces without any appreciation or reciprocity.
* - You are exhausted by her heaviness of emotion that simultaneously pushes you away while blaming you for its weight.
 
She fears she is broken
 
Underneath her anger and blame of you, a woman is fighting her own ardent “taskmaster.” Her "taskmaster" protects her by trying to feel the fear beneath the stress, anger, and overwhelm. 
 
Your wife fears she is broken.
She fears that she is “not enough.”
She’s afraid of “losing herself” if she opens and shares her deepest emotions with you.
 
This is why she feels like she doesn’t have any freedom, and she blames you because you are the closest one to her.
 
Your Kingly Life Path
 
To follow the path of Kingly Life, you must stay clear, centered, and connected.
1. You must maintain a vision and purpose for your relationship with your wife.
2. You must not be thrown off your center by your wife’s blame and instead praise her for being open and sharing herself with you.
3. You must skillfully lead and bloom her into an ever-deepening relationship.
 
Your wife must be able to access her anger in order to dive deeper into her other emotions, and through this practice, she will have new and better access to her feelings of love and respect.
 
She must want to follow you into depth.
 
 Watch this 4-min video to find out how to use your wife's anger as doorway to her deeper feelings and connection with you:

* Why she's terrified to give up control
* How "fixing" her situation doesn't bring her closer to you, and what to do instead
* What to look for in your wife that indicates she is opening to you

Want to read more? Click to read this next article: How to treat your wife - she's NOT your everything