How to talk to an upset wife - Make her feel understood

confident man marriage advice men's coaching relationship advice relationship coaching May 24, 2023
woman in the woods with a red cloth draped around her

“Look at this!” your wife yells.
She glares at you and shoves a laundry basket into your arms. 
“Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?!” she continues. “I told you to check your pockets! The whole load is ruined.”
Looking in the basket, you see shredded bits of paper covering the clean clothes.
You start to defend yourself, but your wife digs into an old familiar diatribe about how hard she works, how useless you are, and that having you as a husband is like having a third child.
Her words always hit you in the same way - she's the matador and you are the bull.
You can never make her happy.
Bullfighter Mentality:
She's not trying to be a bitch, but she's waving a red cape in front of the bull's face. She's infuriated. Her intense emotions and deeper pains are driving her to criticize you.

How to take the bull by the horns :
 • It's NOT your job to appease your wife.
• It's NOT your job to apologize for having done something “wrong.”
• Trying to "make mommy happy" won't help.
You can help your wife by being the crusader, approaching her reactions like a gateway to far deeper storehouses of feeling. Her deeper emotions are the Holy Grail.
In her emotional storehouses, your wife is hiding deep pains, fear, and loneliness... that she may have never shared with you before.

Watch this video to learn how to talk with your upset wife:

 Want to read more? Click to read this next article: Wife says I've "lost" myself? What does THAT mean?